Basement Boy or Elder Gamer?
Everyone should get a free gaming system when they become a Caregiver. A great gift idea for Caregiver’s Day - Which is the first Tuesday of April - which means you get double presents when it falls on April First.
I am reclaiming the term Basement Boy.
Don’t know what that is? - it’s late 90s feminist slang, and it means exactly what you think: unshowered and social outcasts, but always had girlfriends to bring them pot. We knew these girls, ones who used them to get away from their high-pressure parents, by hanging with his ex-hippy parents.
—Not to be confused with Hackers, who didn’t have girlfriends, because they had the skill of hacking, and a mom to make them bagel bites. I want Bagel Bites now… —
Noooooo, basement boys were a failure to launch. Unmotivated, directionless slackers. Not a good look when you’re an able-bodied (white) male in the prime of his childbearing years. Ignoring college applications or going outside to smoke. Wasting his life playing video games till his parents move out of the house or he gets the idea to teach English in Japan.
But I got BABY BOOMED. That means I get to fuck with the rules of what a life best led means. When you got to stay home because sometimes someone lights fires by mistake after the sun goes down…? Well, making home interesting is essential. If you can, get a dog, plant a garden, break up with Social Media. And if you can’t do that - go grab a PlayStation from The Sally Ann.
I have an insatiable appetite for consuming media. I’ve had my fill of a lot of the stuff folks are pumping out to keep us entertained, and - as you already know, am a retired “cool girl” - who spent hours hanging out with young (white male) filmmakers trying to navigate the Telefilm system - aka playing Mario Kart.
In order to start my life, I handed over the PlayStation when I moved out of roomie life and onto my own. Only picking up my GameCube during the Pandemic, because Mario Kart is the best game of all time. Then! I inherited an old Xbox from a neighbour so I could play a camp slasher game for “research”.
Hello, old friend. Two years later, this is what I learned from the games I play alone in my basement, unshowered and loathing society at large, and how it’s helped me be a better caregiver:
Basements are quiet, but also the foundation of the house. You can feel it if something’s off.
It’s ok to hide away. No one is present all the time; being physically hard to get to is a helpful boundary.
Sometimes the whole world can eff off, and leave me alone.
I’m not sulking; I’m not distracting myself. I am not a failure to launch; I launched. Life is a whole spectrum of things that you can’t plan on, and no one is where they thought they would be when they were making plans
THIS IS A GOOD THING;
DON’T JUDGE YOURSELF FOR ANYTHING THAT MAKES LIFE FUN.
Who cares that the program won’t format your list properly — Because — You’re better at gaming than you remember!
Notice patterns, get that muscle memory back, you can do it! Leap!
No one is backseat driving; this is YOUR BASEMENT.
No roommate is going to throw a controller at you ot the TV. No boy here to say button mashing isn’t playing. Your ex isn’t here to get jelly you kicked his ass at the arcade. Being a cool girl means ignoring the part when boys teach you things like you’re in kindergarten, having all grown up with Ataris, and I grew up with co-operation games.
Playing Video Games with a sleeping puppy in your lap is what all the Gods want for you.
Even the Buddha found meditation hard; we’re overstimulated and on high alert. Chronic stress is not about “It gets better.” It’s more “the sun will come out tomorrow,” and sitting in stillness isn’t available to us. Being open to playing games is a form of meditation - go on, look it up. I’ll wait.
I don’t know a single Yogi that doesn’t remind you that showing up is half the battle. The other half the battle is GETTING BRAIN DED. We need to interact with other stories, and this is a valid option.
If mind alteration isn’t an option, sorry. If it is, enjoy incorporating it into this new lifestyle - I have! PEAK BASEMENT BOY!
Neuro-spicy ONLY: If you can multitask like this, mute the game and listen to your audiobook, then prepare yourself for crazy dreams.
No one is going to tell me learning different button combinations for different games isn’t staving off dementia. NO ONE IS GONNA TELL ME NUTHIN.
It’s ok to fuck up, it’s ok to die, it’s ok to jump off a mountain and kill your horse.
You’ll get another go. Read that again and take it to your life; give yourself unlimited chances. NO ONE GETS EVERYTHING RIGHT.
Some of the best storytelling is in Gamer Narratives.
No western has ever made me cry more than Red Dead Redemption Two. Not even Young Guns II.
The diversity of games available, from educational to offensive, is your embarrassment of riches; choose your own adventure. Time to try on a new hat, because in real life, IT HELPS YOU RELATE TO THOSE YOU WOULDN’T BEFORE.
Sometimes, just ride your horse around all day.
Appreciate all the hard work it took to make this fake world.
Do you have access to a horse in real life? I don’t. So get stoned and pretend you’re a Jane Austin character racing to Netherfields! Just for funsies!
Realize that no matter what you do, sometimes the game makes you drive into a tree. It keeps you from playing on autopilot. STAY PRESENT.
Violent video games don’t make you a violent person.
Wailing on some Spartan Soldiers actually helps me blow off steam.
I mean really. It’s way better than the punching pad I have. Like wake up in the morning with buffed shoulders like I kneaded bread for 4 hours after dinner.
Real talk, as anyone put in this position is - I am fucking angry that caregiving is needlessly hard, and you’re often doing it for someone or a family system that doesn’t realize the sacrifice you’re making. So be grateful it’s being taken out on The Order of the Trinity.