Beige Gardens
A Riot Grrl’s Take on
Caregiving in the Age of Boomers
WELCOME; Housekeeping, fine print.
None of this is meant to replace medical treatment. Please continue your own self-care practices (clearly venting is one for me) or a potential Asset Map that has yet to be created by Corporate Charities and Government Offices. They are responsible for it. Not me. Basically, if you’re pulling a salary, you’re slacking and taxing the Caregiver.
AKA - not me. So if you’re here and you’re reading, it’s because you’re looking for people who are sharing the same experiences as me. This space is about the emotional impact of being part of the elder care system, and the isolation you get from friends and family.
This is a space to share resources. Including the much-needed emotional releases we need as caregivers. This is not a space to discuss the politics and policies that have held us back. It’s non-partisan. Here we just call it THE PATRIARCHY.
And just like any advice from anyone, listen at your own risk. I’m not a medical professional, a paralegal; I’m a Butcher Baker Nightmare Maker. Take me with a grain of salt, and — remember, complaints about people that are pulling a salary off my glorious misery have been brewing for years. This isn’t a knee-jerk reaction; this is a decade of being the prodigal child, without the praise, glory or respect.
Ya’ll been fucking around? Beige Gardens is where you can come to FIND OUT.
Trigger Warning: My shit’s not twee. You want that, go to the medical charities. Conversations about systemic bias, toxic family systems, and oppressive social status structures that rely on assumptions made about who is or isn’t a useful member of society. My case is particularly abusive, so looking to feel good - bye.
We mad out here, and we know who to blame. Please avoid if you have a tentative hold on nuance or just need a place for white whine.
All my shit is whisky, straight up, maybe a cherry if I’m feeling cheeky. If your feelings are easy to hurt: I’m sorry for you. Taking care of the elders is hard shadow work, and a spoonful of sugar is a privilege I don’t have.
This is an easier read.
Stories about being the one who lost the family bet:
So you have to take care of the demented?
At this point, we’re not waiting for the caregiving community to clear a path. There is no will to change. We must forge our own. But why listen to me? I’m just a storyteller.
This is my Happy Place
Stories about being the problem:
If you can be a Weed Nun, be a weed nun.
Canada’s favourite drug is a double edged sword, and essential to not going crazy. (Warning: this opinion includes talk about forging new neural pathways, breaking up with toxic family systems, and playing video games like a teenager)
This stock image is a lie, no one is this happy when someone else beats them at mario kart
Why Gen X HAS to be better at getting Old
Empowering the pathetic excuse for a middle age we turned into.
Living my Best Incel Life - in the 90s, being a moody boy meant living in your parents' basement playing video games.
‘Ok, Boomer’ isn’t just a punch line. It’s a way of life. This is a list of why we suck at taking care of people, but how Kathleen Hanna made us better at being taken care of.
‘Where are the Dudes?’ Kurt Cobain died for somebody’s sins, but not yours… cis-men are slowing down progress, and trust me, your sensitive good dad liberal husband is still enjoying his patriarchy.
“When culture is based on a dominator model, not only will it be violent, but it will frame all relationships as power struggles.”
Looking for something specific? Reach out and I’ll do my best.
I’m not paid to do this, nor am I supported by any of these services
I’m learning as I go, so if you have something to share to the community - please do!
Caregiving is specific to the caregiver and recipient, no one should ever tell you how it is …including me.